Retirement sayings worth printing on a shirt

The lines that actually land on somebody's last day at work, sorted by tone, and where they end up printed.

A retirement present has something almost no other present has: an exact date, fixed months in advance, and a buyer that is not one person. Most of the time it is the colleagues clubbing together, twenty euros each, needing to choose something by Friday. Which is why the line matters more than the object: what they are buying is a shared joke, not a shirt.

The lines that hold up come in three kinds, and mixing them is the usual mistake. There is the one that states the date, the year printed large, and it works because it is a certificate. There is the one that turns the job upside down: new management, not their problem any more. And there is the warm one, given when the relationship is real and sarcasm would land cold. Decide which of the three you need first.

One practical note before the list: we print after the order, so between printing and delivery you are looking at five to thirteen working days. If the party is next Friday, order today.

18 retirement sayings, all ready to print

1. I'm Not In A Hurry
2. My Retirement Plan
3. My Retirement Plan
4. My Retirement Plan
5. Retired 2030
6. Retired 2029
7. Retired 2028
8. I Worked My Whole Life
9. This Legend
10. I'm Retired
11. Retired
12. Retired 2027
13. Retired 2026
14. I'm Not Retired
15. I'm Not Retired
16. Retired.
17. Retired:
18. Retired:

If it is a group present, the same line usually exists on a mug and a hoodie too: the shirt gets worn on the day, the mug stays in the kitchen for ten years. Plenty of teams buy both and have them opened in front of everyone.